(This was written by Chaplain John Roe from the King Veteran’s Home in Wisconsin where my dad lives. I asked his permission to share, and edited slightly for succinctness.)
Adjusting to new realities is a difficult task for many people. I define the term new reality as, “The way life is right now, whether you like it or not.”
Each of us has to adjust as circumstances dictate changes in the world around us. Many times we long for the way that things used to be, forgetting that the changes that preceded that time in our lives were difficult, too.
There is a saying that sounds like something from the Bible (but isn’t) that goes, “Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be broken.” In Philippians 4:11-13 the Apostle Paul says it like this:
I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
New realities come through things we can control and things we can’t. Some are just part of the process of life: aging, disability, death of a spouse, the heartbreak of divorce. Others are forced on us by changes in technology, the workplace, the political climate, or the economy. We feel like we have lost control and it is frightening.
It is how we adjust and adapt to that change that is important. Here are some ways that people react to the changing world around them.
1.Resist and complain. Some people refuse to get comfortable in new situations. They constantly resist reality, especially when it is forced on them against their will. They spend years complaining about the injustices that have come their way. Their expectations were not met, therefore they have dedicated themselves to being miserable and making life miserable for everyone around them. The problem here is that complaining and a bitter attitude never change things back to the way they were.
2.Give up in despair. This often happens what a child dies or a spouse passes away. The survivors don’t feel like there is any reason to go on living and just succumb to the grieving process and don’t try to regain any semblance of a quality life. Giving up will never restore anything; it just steals life from you.
3.Learn to cope. Many times people don’t really adjust, they just learn to cope. They aren’t really happy about the way things are but rather than trying to do anything about it they just resign themselves to being unhappy and living through it. The passion is gone but they are surviving, always waiting for something but not really sure what it is.
4.Adjust and thrive. Learning to adapt to the new reality and make the most of it is the healthiest way for all of us. In the quote from Philippians above, Paul said that he learned to be content in every circumstance. He didn’t let the circumstances consume him but rather learned to do all things in the strength of Christ.
Things are always changing. It is how we respond to those changes that shape our destinies. Regardless of the changes around us, we still have to live in this world. Don’t let unmet expectations destroy your ability to see the opportunities that come your way. Take advantage of all that is being offered to you. Embrace your new reality and make the adjustments that you need to make to thrive. Remember, you can do all things through Christ who will strengthen you!
