As we walked on a local trail recently, Carrie and I noticed a number of parents with small children. After one toddler cheerfully greeted us in passing, I considered the wonder of language and how we pick it up.
Babies are born unable to say a word, They begin speaking only after long hearing others talk, just a word or two at a time at first, until it snowballs into greater fluency—and then some talk nonstop!
As believers, we can already talk, but like the young lady whose speech needs reforming in the classic movie My Fair Lady,our speech may sound unbecoming. Our tone may still reflect self-centeredness and negativity, and it won’t change without some effort! James sought to address our need for speech improvement:
Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? (James 3:10-11)
While we may recognize the biblical instruction, we don’t normally bless people who curse us, or pray for those who take advantage of us. We’d rather retaliate! But God wants us to acquire new patterns of thought and speech. We learn more suitable ways of communicating from God’s Word and from those who practice gracious speech (Colossians 4:6).
The people we listen to most influence our hearts, either positively or negatively, and before we know it, we’ll find ourselves thinking and talking like them (including mass media). Consider whom you listen to; pay attention to their attitude and tone. Do you hear words of grace and gratitude, or griping and complaining? Is their overall tone uplifting and positive, or negative?
The Bible will also help our interactions with others. For example, it teaches us to answer wisely in tense situations and to sidestep arguments before they start (Proverbs 15:1, 17:14). How does your speech align with that of a more “grown up” Christian, like the Apostle Paul described?
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:29).
Honey may not pour from your lips the moment you decide to make a change, but sometimes what you leave unsaid makes as big a difference. You don’t have to say everything you think or feel! If you only decided to stop negative talk, criticism, and complaining, you’d be amazed at the effect, both for you and those near you (Philippians 2:14). Imagine your words had a matching smell. Would people hold their breath around you, or would the scent be attractive?
I challenge you to spend a few days listening to yourself. What do you talk about? What is your tone? Does it resound with grace and gratitude? Practice going a full day without saying anything critical or complaining. Then practice again the next day!
Spending time with those more “fluent” in graceful speech and meditating on God’s Word will help change your heart. And the heart is your word factory. Retool that, and you’ll change what it produces.
Excellent reflections & suggestions, JB – thanks!