I like to be liked. It’s more enjoyable than not being liked, or worse, hated. And if I’m totally honest, I probably do things on occasion just to score likability points. A bad motivation, I know. But such insecurity is just one more reason I needed a Savior!
Speaking of Whom, Jesus was quite the opposite. He didn’t do things to impress people (though walking on water and raising the dead is pretty impressive). He wasn’t worried about His approval rating. No disciples were assigned to social media or to issue #JesusSays tweets on His behalf. He didn’t poll FaceBook friends for advice on His next message.
When Jesus made metaphorical statements of spiritual reality that weirded people out in John 6, erstwhile followers left in droves. He offered no retraction and made no apologies. He just turned to the twelve and said, “Care to join them?” Notably, this exodus occurred just one day after His miraculously feeding 5000 with five loaves and two fish—oh, and walking on water.
Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People wasn’t in print then, but I suspect it wouldn’t have been on Jesus’s reading list. He certainly wasn’t winning over any of the religious leaders by calling them blind guides, hypocrites, and (my favorite) a brood of vipers. Not exactly flattering language. Neither was He taken in by flattery. After He’d fed the 5000, He walked away when His fickle fan club was ready to take Him by force and make Him king. He put no stock in public opinion. The Bible says He didn’t entrust Himself to them, because He knew what was in man (John 2:24).
Yet people will dress a certain way, eat certain foods, drive the right cars, and strive to be seen with the right people, all in an effort to win approval and to gain social stature. We even visited a church once where a good part of the service was spent showing photos of the pastor with Christian ministry celebrities.
Lest I solely point the finger at others, I have to admit my own struggle for external validation. I find myself worrying way too much what people think, even though I can’t possibly control others’ perceptions. We tend to especially crave acceptance and understanding from those closest to us—-our families. When that’s lacking, we hurt. How did Jesus deal with familial rejection? Sure, Mom was pretty much on His side, but hey, that’s a mom’s job. And after what she’d been through (angelic visitation, virgin birth), Mary had some pretty compelling reasons to believe. Did Jesus enjoy the rest of His family’s approval, though? We’re told His brothers didn’t believe in Him, and His family on the whole apparently thought He was off His rocker (Mark 3).
The Bible affirms that God has already accepted and adopted those who are born again and put their faith in Jesus. He has put His stamp of approval on us and called us His friends. If we didn’t have any other friends we could still rest in the love God has for us, just as Jesus did. He calls us blessed and highly favored, holy and blameless, in spite of our obvious flaws. The next time I find myself feeling a little insecure, that’s what I need to remember!
Good insight, JB. A Christian counselor once told me, in her experience, “As a rule, 1/3 of people you meet will like you, 1/3 will NOT like you, and the last 1/3 don’t care one way or the other!” That’s been a reality check for me (also a veteran “people pleaser.”)