Peter once asked Jesus, “How many times must I forgive my brother? Seven times?”
I thought this a funny question for Peter to ask, given his brash, bossy, driven ways– prone to put his foot in his mouth. That zealous personality probably helped his fishing business, enabling him to command his fishing crew and sell fish at a good price.
But how did he come across to others? I would imagine he stepped on people’s toes, hurt their feelings, and wasn’t notably compassionate.
So here’s Peter, the bull in the china shop, asking how many times he has to forgive others, when he’s most likely the one hurting other people! Did he ever think of apologizing?
Unfortunately, I can relate. Recently a nearby Sears went out of business and the property was sold to an investment company. To the dismay of surrounding neighborhoods, the developers drew up plans to build multiple five-story apartment buildings on the property.
Due to the company’s plan to essentially add over 1,000 cars to our currently busy traffic, block the views of nearby neighbors, and add very little greenery or water features to the mix, residents began discussions on social media. At first I added factual information that I’d researched, wanting to warn others that this definitely was going to happen. The venture had already been offered online to qualifying investors!
In mere hours the conversation got heated. People were calling the developers names, imputing evil motives not only to them but also to our mayor and city council, encouraging protests, and threatening to file a law suit. I tried to encourage a calmer approach, pointing out that being angry would not help the situation. I also (insert foot in mouth) mentioned that I knew some people who were so unhappy with the changes they’d seen over the past few decades that they were moving out of the front range area altogether, but that we should try to make the best of it.
Well, that went over like a lead balloon because two women in particular took it personally and thought I was telling them to move!!! One wrote a detailed explanation of why she could not move! By that time it was getting way too emotional. So I apologized and quietly bowed out of the conversation.
Suddenly I realized that these women were probably fearful of the proposed changes and maybe they simply needed a friend. So I wrote each one a personal note, apologizing again and asking for their forgiveness. I’d rather be a friend than an enemy, a good neighbor, so I offered to meet each one for coffee.
One replied with her own apology, saying she actually didn’t know many of her neighbors. The other really appreciated my note. She forgave me, thanked me for caring, and wished the world had more people who simply showed a little kindness toward others. And they both wanted to have coffee with me! What a turnaround!
When I took the time to apologize, God worked all things together for good, even sticking my foot in my mouth!