Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up (Proverbs 12:25).
One day I messaged a coworker and just asked how she was doing. She said it made her day—just that I asked! That stuck out to me. And while it is easy to get wrapped up with myself, I have since tried to remember to express care for others more often. Perhaps you’ve read stories of how a kind word sparked new hope or even saved someone’s life. Our words matter not only for ourselves, but for the people around us.
The Bible affirms that death and life are in the power of the tongue—and encourages us that the mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life (Proverbs 18:21,10:11). The apostle Paul taught:
Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person (Colossians 4:6).
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:29).
Negative speech requires little thought. But life-giving words require effort, especially if we have not yet developed the habit of speaking them. However, if we look at the verses above as commandment we must keep through self-effort and determination, we will exhaust ourselves and miss the mark. God isn’t looking for niceties expressed through gritted teeth. God is after heart change. When our hearts change, our thoughts and words will change.
I’m learning, albeit very slowly, a path to the kind of heart change that expresses concern for others in more than a superficial way. Trusting God with all my needs and cares, and finding my value in His opinion of me rather than looking to others is the starting point. As long as I am needy and insecure, everything will revolve around me. Ouch! I can only put others first if I believe God will take care of me. When I fail to trust Him, I live in self-protective mode, looking out for my own interests. When I am dependent on others for my value, I may say and do nice things for entirely the wrong reasons, trying to get approval or something else in return.
A second habit that changes the heart is the regular expression of gratitude. Scripture encourages us repeatedly to be thankful. When we make ourselves aware of how full our cup is, it more easily overflows to those around us. When we “count our many blessings” we focus on our abundance rather than our lack. That kind of thinking positions us to be a blessing to others in word and deed.
Look up Proverbs 16:24 and 25:11. Ask God who in your world could use a kind word today. Sometimes my wife or I will thank a store employee for showing up and serving others that day, or compliment a customer service person on the phone. Maybe a friend or family member needs a kind word delivered in a quick text or call. It’s not hard, and everyone benefits!
Very helpful, JB – thanks!